Tag Archive: Jesus

This story may be somewhat asinine; but it truly has good lessons.
1.) God loves us and wants a relationship with us. Eternal life (abundant life) is knowing God as Lord, Father, Friend …..AND Saviour.
2.) Grace is not a “get out of jail free card;” it is the power of God in our lives to help us overcome and defeat sin and to draw closer to our loving Father.
3.) The wisdom of man is always folly, and the foolishness of God is always wise!!!!

As a prequel – here is a bizarre song to go along with our bizarre tale.
If you aren’t into strange boinky bass rock…..just skip to the story. Cheers and blessings!!!!

Steven was a scientist
who dreamed of fame
and had a dreadful fear
of Hell’s flame.

Like most others
in his profession,
he had a great disdain
for confession;
and would not give an acknowledging nod
to the supremacy of Almighty God.

He thought if
there is a Heaven
– in order to get in,
all one need do
is get rid of their sin.
He said, “All mankind needs
is a means
to erase dirty thoughts
and evil deeds.”

One morning he got the idea
in a rush,
while disposing of some gnarly diarrhea
with a flush…….

….Through careful calculation
and brilliant deduction
Steven formulated
a one of a kind production:
with just a chew
of the molecular bonding goo
all knowledge and memory of sin
was released through waste.
As a bonus, it freshened breath
and had a minty taste.
Steven decided to name his invention

He said, “Who better than I
to give it a try?!!!”
So he was maniacal and mean
– a total jerk;
but no sin could he remember
– this stuff actually worked!

With each dump and gas
his memory would pass:
He didn’t remember going to strip clubs;
he swore that he never called
his colleagues a bunch of losers and scrubs;
he didn’t know who ran over the neighbor’s cat;
and his wife had to remind him
that he said her dress DID make her look fat!

He touted in glee
living life guilt free.
Only one thing did spoil it
– he was always on the toilet.

Finally, he went to see Ol’ Doc Fred.
After running some tests,
the Doc shook his head and said,
“I’m sorry to say;
and I can’t really put it any other way:
the tests are conclusive,
there is no doubt
– you, dear sir, are quite literally
pooping your brains out!
For someone so smart,
you really are dumb
– trying to outwit God
instead of accepting His Son.
You didn’t erase your sin,
just your guilt;
and, you’ve been ticking everyone off
and destroying all the good will you’ve built.
Jesus loves you;
He died to set you free.
So, spit out that goop
and get down on your knees!”

Well, I’m happy to say
that Steven gave his life
to Christ that day;
and, when he had died
there was no doubt
as to where he went
– because he truly loved the Lord
and learned how to repent.

So, if guilt is building
in your life
and is painful to your gut;
you have two choices, my friend:
you can give it to God,
or chew Poot Paste
and blow it out your butt!


Isaiah 55:8,9 – The Lord says, “Your thoughts are not like my thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.”

John 3:16,17 – For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not be lost, but will have eternal life. God did not send His Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through Him.

Story and illustrations by B.C. Lamb. All rights reserved. Please use with permission only.

Prodigal one

Prodigal two

Prodigal three

Prodigal four

Prodigal five

Prodigal six

Prodigal seven

Prodigal eight

LUKE 15:11-32

Just to add a couple of thoughts here: 1) Please remember that this story has as much to do with the “obedient” son’s attitude as well as the redemption of the prodigal. Whenever a child of God (whomever they might be and from whatever circumstances they may be coming from) is reunited to the family of God – it is a joyous and wondrous event, and definately a time for celebration! 2) I wrote this a couple of years back and apparently my spelling and grammar skills had diminished a bit. They are getting better with time and more practice with writing. That said…..please excuse the mispelling of prodigal and any other mistakes I might have overlooked. Cheers and God bless!!!!! = >

Story and illustrations by B.C. Lamb. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Parable one

Parable two

Parable three

Parable four

Parable five

Parable six

Matthew 13: 1-8

By the way, if you’d like to see the pictures in full, just click on them & then click the back arrow to get back to reading!¬† Enjoy! ūüėČ

Speed, agility, stealth and cunning.  Relentless in her pursuit Рwatch the great huntress, Kiara Рbeauty in action.  No creeping, crawling, hopping, bopping, fluttering, sputtering critter with at least six legs stands a chance.  She has had five years to hone her skills and perfect her craft.  Now to watch her strike is to watch poetry in motion Рbrutal poetry!!!!             

Of course, every buggy  handles incarceration differently.  Some pretty much give up and die Рimmediately and effectively becoming an exoskeleton of their former selves.   

Some become manic Рsuch as Bug Adams Рa dragonfly that kept flipping off all the birds.  Initially we thought about fining him, but ultimately we just let him go. 

¬†Then there are the “lifers” – those that just seem to settle in and remain content with their confinement.¬† One such critter seemed as though he’d stick around forever.¬† We named him Mothusaleh and eventually let him go.

Some bugs go into a panic right from the get go – even when there isn’t any real danger.¬†

Then, of course, there are those who try to play it cool – no matter what.¬† Just so you know, the Snoop Dog Elephant Fly is no match for the Mr. T werewolf spider……. shame, really!!!¬†¬† They say those Elephant Flies are quite rare. Poor dude, never saw it coming.¬† I find it amazing and baffling:¬† bugs (insects, spiders, etc.) despite having very complex optical designs, often times with multiple eyes and/or lenses, have poor eyesight.¬† Most spiders have eight eyes.¬† Most insects only have two actual eyes, but many of them have compound eyes; flies, bees, and dragonflies, etc.

In fact, dragonflies have 30,000 lenses in each eye.

Additionally, dragonflies (still with the standard number of six insect legs) can’t walk.¬† They obviously help with landing, standing, and balance; still it almost seems a waste of legs.¬† Imagine what I could do with an extra set of arms or legs – make a bigger mess of things than I already do.¬† So, what’s with the multiple and compound eyes?¬† Perhaps one of many questions for Heaven.¬† According to scientists, most bugs don’t have very good eyesight.¬† In fact, many are limited to visibility of just one or two feet – talk about being short-sighted!¬† Usually they can smell you before they see you (hint – don’t use the magazine with all those stinky perfume samples as your bug wapper!)

Back in the day, I used to get pretty mad when kids would call me four eyes.¬† They usually didn’t do it more than once (I may have been a nerd, but I was a nerd who could scrap – and did).¬† Of course that was back in the first grade before I was saved and before school yard disputes were settled with litigation instead of good ol’ fist-a-cuffs. ūüôā Of course, now-a-days, such petty insults would be greeted with laughter by myself.¬† Good thing too – that I don’t take offense easily – cause sure enough our pastor, Robert Morris, looked out in the congregation¬†recently and called us all Four Eyes!!!

Actually, he was just repeating what Jesus said.¬† So, to be more precise, God called us all four eyes.¬† Come to think of it, He didn’t actually specify the number of spiritual eyes that we¬†have – so, I can’t help but wonder:¬† Are our spirits like the “living creatures” described in Revelation 4:6 as being “covered with eyes”, do we have two as we do in our fleshly bodies, or do we merely have one big spiritual eye like a cyclops.¬† Being spiritual Cyclopses might explain why we are so easily blinded to the Truth sometimes.¬† I can just imagine the ol’ devil running around trying to poke everybody in their eye.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

So, should we fear satan – the eye poker?¬† No!¬† Just keep your guard up.¬† Like in boxing, protect your face.¬† *Submit yourselves therefore to God.¬† Resist the devil and he will flee from you.¬† James 4:7* There again, I can’t help but wonder if eyes aren’t a means of reward or ranking.¬† The four creatures are stationed around the throne – so I’m assuming they are high-ranking.¬† So, maybe for every spiritual battle we (through Christ) win, we get another spiritual eye to see with.¬† Kinda like in college football.¬† Some teams give rank or rewards for special/good plays and such with stickers and decals all over their helmets.¬† If so, I hope to finish my season with many eyes on my helmet.

He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village.¬† When he had spit (hwak, ptooey!!!)on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes.¬† Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.¬† Mark 8:23-25¬†¬†¬†¬†Over the years, I’ve pondered over these verses.¬† 1. Why did Jesus spit on this dude?¬† (He didn’t do this every time He healed someone.)¬† 2. And, more important, why did He touch the guy’s eyes twice to restore his vision?¬†¬† I’ve heard many a debate and even a few messages addressing these questions – none of which I found to be satisfactory until Pastor Robert taught a lesson on it.¬† He had heard some of the same false ideas and inaccuracies.¬† Not satisfied and stymied himself, he said he was studying and mulling it over one day when the Holy Spirit asked him if he wanted to know what took place in this passage.¬† Answering, “Yes, please,” his spiritual eyes were then able to see it.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†The first time Jesus touched the man, He opened his spiritual eyes.¬† This makes sense because of two things:¬† 1. Jesus had just talked to the disciples about spiritual blindness – Mark 8:17-18¬† …”Do you still not see or understand?¬† Are your hearts hardened?¬† Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear?….¬†¬† 2.¬† The man saw men as trees.¬† In the scriptures, men (spiritually) are referred to as being trees.¬† **No small coincidence – Jesus is a carpenter!!**¬†¬†A.¬† Many references to men being known by their fruit.¬† Good-fruitful trees, bad-unfruitful trees. B. In Revelation, the two witnesses are referred to as being two olive trees. C. Daniel 4:20-22¬† King Nebuchadnezzar saw a giant tree with much fruit in a dream.¬† Daniel interpreted the dream – the tree represented the King.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

Just guessing what the guy saw over Christ’s shoulder:¬†

So, why not open the man’s spiritual and physical eyes at the same time?¬† He was showing/teaching the disciples a lesson.¬† Like a lot of other things, they probably didn’t understand it until later.¬† Also, why the spit or spittle?¬† I’m still not entirely sure.¬† It wasn’t the first or only time He used spittle, but it was the only time documented where He spits directly on a person’s face.¬† I’m just speculating¬†here, but I’d guess the disciples had short attention spans, so Jesus said, “Hey! Pay attention!¬† Ptooey!!”

*I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go:  I will guide thee with mine eye. Psalm 32:8                        

*We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

*So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:18                                                                                                                                     

So, shall we daily ask ourselves РWhich set of eyes are you looking with?  Are you blind?

%d bloggers like this: