Tag Archive: Jesus


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Dear friends,
Again, you may need your good reading glasses to see some of the small writing; but we do believe that some of the wit and wisdom will make it worth your while. Also, please keep in mind that there is no spell check in my ink pen or in my head at 3:45 in the morning. ;b Hope you enjoy. Peace and blessings. = >

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Again, you might need your good reading glasses to see all of this one; but I dare say it has some funny and good insights that will make it worth the reading.

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So serious at the end!!! = b We seriously and sincerely wish all of our readers the best of wishes and God’s grace and peace to be in your homes. Love and God bless,

B. C. Lamb and the Tango Tribe

(Some of you may have already read the short story: There is a Slob in my Room; it was originally part of this letter and ties into the rest of the story.) As always, our hope is that these letters will encourage and edify. Love and blessings to all! = >

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Title

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Story and illustrations by B. C. Lamb. Use with permission only.

Story and illustrations by B. C. Lamb. Use with permission only.

Foreword

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This story may be somewhat asinine; but it truly has good lessons.
1.) God loves us and wants a relationship with us. Eternal life (abundant life) is knowing God as Lord, Father, Friend …..AND Saviour.
2.) Grace is not a “get out of jail free card;” it is the power of God in our lives to help us overcome and defeat sin and to draw closer to our loving Father.
3.) The wisdom of man is always folly, and the foolishness of God is always wise!!!!

As a prequel – here is a bizarre song to go along with our bizarre tale.
If you aren’t into strange boinky bass rock…..just skip to the story. Cheers and blessings!!!!

Steven was a scientist
who dreamed of fame
and had a dreadful fear
of Hell’s flame.

Like most others
in his profession,
he had a great disdain
for confession;
and would not give an acknowledging nod
to the supremacy of Almighty God.

He thought if
there is a Heaven
– in order to get in,
all one need do
is get rid of their sin.
He said, “All mankind needs
is a means
to erase dirty thoughts
and evil deeds.”

One morning he got the idea
in a rush,
while disposing of some gnarly diarrhea
with a flush…….

….Through careful calculation
and brilliant deduction
Steven formulated
a one of a kind production:
with just a chew
of the molecular bonding goo
all knowledge and memory of sin
was released through waste.
As a bonus, it freshened breath
and had a minty taste.
Steven decided to name his invention
– POOT PASTE!!!

He said, “Who better than I
to give it a try?!!!”
So he was maniacal and mean
– a total jerk;
but no sin could he remember
– this stuff actually worked!

With each dump and gas
his memory would pass:
He didn’t remember going to strip clubs;
he swore that he never called
his colleagues a bunch of losers and scrubs;
he didn’t know who ran over the neighbor’s cat;
and his wife had to remind him
that he said her dress DID make her look fat!

He touted in glee
living life guilt free.
Only one thing did spoil it
– he was always on the toilet.

Finally, he went to see Ol’ Doc Fred.
After running some tests,
the Doc shook his head and said,
“I’m sorry to say;
and I can’t really put it any other way:
the tests are conclusive,
there is no doubt
– you, dear sir, are quite literally
pooping your brains out!
For someone so smart,
you really are dumb
– trying to outwit God
instead of accepting His Son.
You didn’t erase your sin,
just your guilt;
and, you’ve been ticking everyone off
and destroying all the good will you’ve built.
Jesus loves you;
He died to set you free.
So, spit out that goop
and get down on your knees!”

Well, I’m happy to say
that Steven gave his life
to Christ that day;
and, when he had died
there was no doubt
as to where he went
– because he truly loved the Lord
and learned how to repent.

So, if guilt is building
in your life
and is painful to your gut;
you have two choices, my friend:
you can give it to God,
or chew Poot Paste
and blow it out your butt!

THE END

Isaiah 55:8,9 – The Lord says, “Your thoughts are not like my thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.”

John 3:16,17 – For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not be lost, but will have eternal life. God did not send His Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but to save the world through Him.

Story and illustrations by B.C. Lamb. All rights reserved. Please use with permission only.

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LUKE 15:11-32

Just to add a couple of thoughts here: 1) Please remember that this story has as much to do with the “obedient” son’s attitude as well as the redemption of the prodigal. Whenever a child of God (whomever they might be and from whatever circumstances they may be coming from) is reunited to the family of God – it is a joyous and wondrous event, and definately a time for celebration! 2) I wrote this a couple of years back and apparently my spelling and grammar skills had diminished a bit. They are getting better with time and more practice with writing. That said…..please excuse the mispelling of prodigal and any other mistakes I might have overlooked. Cheers and God bless!!!!! = >

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