S.O.S. and the Weapons of Mass Digestion

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The Crack in the Wall

In My Backyard

God’s been showing off
In my backyard
With shoots and sprouts
Springing up from the ground
With colors and design
That thrill and astound

Fireflies dance and glow
Putting on luminescent show
And the spectacular spectacle of twilight
Shimmers and shines
Saluting the sacred reign of night

In my backyard
I love to toil and work
Among the bizarre and the berserk
Befriending behemoth of the plains
As I make my home on the strange
To appease my every whim and quirk

I trip and trod
Over trial and sod
Traversing test and turf
And transcending pokes and pricks
Occasionally having one that sticks
Making me shout
And thank God for the fix

In my backyard
I run the Earth and chase the sky
I ride the wind
And race the butterfly

The adventures never end
As I seek another conquest
Finding damsels needing to be saved
While fighting monsters real and pretend
And praying to escape unscathed

You are welcome to visit,
Welcome to stay;
But you may or may not find me,
Because in my Backyard
….sometimes I get carried away!!!

There’s a Desert in our Room!

WORDS by B.C. Lamb
ILLUSTRATIONS by Kiara Skye Lamb

Every evening

after bedtime stories and sleep tight prayers,

after Eskimo and butterfly kisses,

one last hug and the final tuck

So begin the nightly trips

of fleeting tiptoes down the stairs

sneaking to the kitchen sink;

and upon the consistent history

of this aqueous mystery

my mind began to ponder and think.

 

So I caught the water wranglers in the act

and I asked my darling daughters,

“Why do you keep sneaking out of bed

to get a drink?”

Looking up ever so innocent and sweet

they spoke in unison,

“There’s a desert in our room, Daddy!”

 

KIARA: “We get thirsty from the heat.

There is no comfort in our blankets

and we swelter under the sheet,

they are like the sands of the Sahara

scorching our bodies

and burning our feet!”

 

KeiLynn: “We have to water our camels

that help us traverse the Gobi-like dunes;

they’re parched by the sandstorms

and running on fumes.”

 

KIARA: “Death Valley resides beside my pillow

where we were chased by a wiley Coyote

and made friends with a furrowed armadillo;

and after she helped us escape the treacherous nip,

we just had to repay her with a kindly sip.”

 

KeiLynn: “There’s a cactus in the corner

– a Joshua Tree, I think;

it was looking rather wilty

so we just had to get the poor thing a drink.”

 

KIARA: “We were being monitored by lizards

that claimed to be Outback wizards

that couldn’t perform or do magic tricks

without a few laps and licks;

and they promised they’d be chum

if we would ‘Goanna’ get them some.”

 

KeiLynn: “There were buzzards buzzing our headboard

waking us up every time we dozed or snored;

at last we made a deal

and they agreed to give up their leverage

in exchange for a refreshing beverage.”

KIARA: “A sidewinder sideswiped our caravan

making us cross our fingers and toes

as he hissed and emptied our canteens,

then he wound around the bends

leaving us to fetch more precious liquid for our friends.”

 

At last I laughed and said,

“This desert is unfit!

Perhaps I can spruce it up a bit.”

 

I opened the window

and turned on the fan.

Then I put a small jug of water by the bed.

 

I called the girls

and explained as I was tucking them in,

“The sun is down

so it is nice and cool in the desert.

Your bed is an oasis and this jug is your watering hole.

If you get out of bed one more time

I’ll have to discipline you for being naughty.”

 

 

With sheepish grins

both girls cried out,

“But Daddy,

………now we have to go potty!”

SQUIGGLY SAFARI (Return of the Scribble Man)

The Palette Parable

There once was a color green

That was a bit

Of an envious thing

And it got it in it’s head

Contrary to natural hue

And prismal evidence said

….That it wanted to be blue.

It put on a blue coat

And acted as such

But it’s true identity was revealed

By natural law and touch.

Still it persisted

And despite initial response

It protested and insisted

That everyone call it blue.

It had blue pride parades,

It adorned azure attire,

And played cobalt charades,

Joined the Navy and the Ultra Marines

Trying desperately not to let

Its shade of jade show.

Little by little and one by one,

The other colors quit wondering why

It wanted to be the color of sky.

And as they accepted the lie

Sure enough, they began to think it so.

In fact, some became so adamant,

That anyone who questioned

Its alternative cue,

Was called hateful and intolerant.

More and more colors

Began to deny assigned intent and tone,

Till palettes and minds were cloudy

And the rainbow confused.

Making the Master Artist sad

That His colors rebelled

Against the purpose of what

They were created to do

And even though they yelled

And passed laws to enforce the lie,

……it still does not make it Right or True!

Forced NUBtials

Bella Chuggerella
finally has her fella
and she just knows
that he will be
the best hubby hound
any pooch did ever see:
opening doggy doors
and covering mud puddles;
fending off squirrel and squeaky toys,
cleaning her ears and giving cuddles;
faithfully wagging by her side
– she takes comfort in knowing
that she’ll never pant alone;
but the sad fact remains
Boomer Nubbins is a snubby groom
that likely won’t ever
…..give this poor bride a bone!!!

The Wolfman Takes a Day Job

Used to be
When night fell down
And the moon shone bright,
The Wolfman prowled the town
Painting it red
Howling at every dame in sight;

Used to be
When darkness descends,
The wolf went wild
Running with rowdy friends,
Barking at bars and trees.
Where bottles and babes
Are easily compiled;
Reveling in his rascally reputation;
Living up to the fame that he claimed.
He perpetuated perception
That this Dog will never be tamed
But as the wise men say,
Everyone has his day.

And it happened one fateful eve
When our “Were” was about
To take his leave;
All it took was a wave
And a toss
From a lady that was a Fox
To send him for a loss
Crashing his nightly routine against the rocks.

Now, with ring and license
Around his neck,
The Wolfman has taken
A day job
To fetch a proper check.
And though it doesn’t
Come natural
And is hard as heck,
The work is important
And he surely doesn’t want
To disappoint
……the boss!!!

I’m a Ninja, so you can’t see me…..

Dead Ringer: Narrated

Hey gang! My son begged and convinced me to Narrate this poem and he edited and polished it so that it sounded good. Take a listen and enjoy!